Archive for the ‘Fun Stuff’ Category

Should Santa move to New Zealand?

Posted: December 21, 2010 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff

Santa recently emailed WHK to ask if he should move his family business from the North Pole to New Zealand. After all, NewZealand is the land of the long white non-ash cloud (great for flying incognito) and small businesses, so what would he have tofear?

Various WHK tax and business advisors huddled together like elves, and came to the following conclusions….

First of all, what’s the chance of getting resource consents for his grotto and workshops any time under 10 years?  There are obviously concerns about noise from the neighbours, emissions and pollution by the greenies, and the whole idea of someone actually making a go of something by the tall poppy loppers. Santa had suggested a nice bach-come-workshop on the beach but the Foreshore and Seabed legislation has put paid to that.

Even if he managed to build the Workshop, his problems certainly wouldn’t stop there. The Department of Labour would be concerned about him employing undersized workers in an unsafe environment, whilst the Human Rights Commission would probably insist on an appropriate mix of elves from minority cultures, including without doubt some token Hobbits. And imagine if the elves found out about the Employment Relations Act or the Holidays Act – theycertainly wouldn’t be working Christmas Day without double time and a day in lieu. They would also expect protective clothing, and compulsory contributions to their Elf-Saver Super Scheme. Don’t even mention minimum wages… With all of these tantalising issues, the elves’ Australian union representative will likely get involved, and Santa’s backers may have no choice but to pull Christmas out of New Zealand. And is smacking an elf the same as smacking a small person???

Mrs Claus would be automatically entitled to one half of the workshop and his mistress the other, while the IRD would demand to see a market salary being paid to Santa. Doing Santa-like things for free is quite clearly tax avoidance!!  And let’s not even go near FBT on private use of the sleigh, or toys for own use.

Given our Bio-Security rules, the Reindeer would have to go through quarantine, and probably would be unavailable for at least 13 months. Even then, there would need to be measures taken so they can’t breed in the off-season (sorry, Rudolph!!).

Before he could take off, OSH would demand guide rails and a roll cage on the sleigh, Kyoto would require carbon neutrality of the reindeer (9 corks please), the SPCA would want to prohibit the gentle whipping of Donner and Blitzen, and the Ministry of Womens’ Affairs would decree that Ho Ho Ho was demeaning.  Although,one has to ask whether the alternatives of “He He He” or “Haw Haw Haw” are any more appropriate?

Further, the Privacy Commissioner would preclude the compilation of lists of good and bad children, and the Human Rights Commissioner would stipulate that Santa can’t discriminate against the bad ones.  That’s of course assuming that Wikileaks hadn’t released the ‘nice and naughty’ list early and ruined the surprise. Finally, the Commerce Commission would likely prosecute him for misrepresentation, as most of his toys have “made in China” on the label, when quite clearly they would be made in his NZ workshop.

Even when he did finally take off, some homeowners would demand landing fees, insurance companies would sue for damage to roofs, and indigenous New Zealanders would claim ancestral airspace usage royalties.  He couldn’t go over 100km per hour because of all the unmarked cop cars out there (it’s not revenue gathering!).  This is not even considering Santa’s exposure to prosecution for DIC (from all that beer and cookies) and B&E. We can only hope he doesn’t get tasered.

Once he landed at the end of a long night, he would be faced with endless litigation, fines and penalties relating to all of the above issues, and not least an assessment by the IRD for gift duty at 25% on the entire world’s Christmas presents he has delivered before October 2011.

So WHK’s considered advice…

Dear Santa,Perhaps you should continue to visit NewZealand only once a year.

Merry Christmas!!



Kiwi Barbecue Rider gets Fried

Posted: August 26, 2010 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff

A Kiwi man who was caught riding his motorbike along the Eastern Freeway in Melbourne with a barbecue strapped to his body was fined A$800 (NZ$1007) today and lost his licence for one month.

Michael Wiles spotted the cast-off cooker on the nature strip where it had been left for rubbish collection and, not wanting to splurge on a new one, decided to pick it up and take it home.

The 29-year-old proceeded to thread his body through the barbecue’s frame and popped up the grate in front of his helmet before setting off along the Eastern Freeway in Kew on January 27, 2008, reaching estimated speeds of 75km/h.

Read the full article here >

GS Challenge / Training in the US

Posted: August 23, 2010 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff, Rider Training

Check this link at a rider training event held in the US >

Photo Caption Contest

Posted: July 24, 2010 by I 90S I in Fun Stuff
Tags: ,

Warren found standing in for Geoff at last night’s Russian Night no mean feat. We need a caption for this photo. Please submit your entry in the comment box below.

Detailed Specs sheet for the new 1200

Posted: March 31, 2010 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff

Hi there,

Below is a detailed spec sheet for the new 1200 due out later in the year.

Some really interesting new features like, switchable ABS and Traction Control, new side mounted radiator, new inline twin engine and much more….

2010 Specs

Annual Rally Stories and Photos

Posted: February 3, 2010 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff

Garry Williams, the editor of the BMWOR Newsletter is doing a feature on the Twizel Rally in the March edition.

If you have any good photos and/or stories about your experience at the rally then please forward both to Garry no later than Friday February 19th.

His e-mail is

BMWS 1000 RR

Posted: December 23, 2009 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff
Tags: ,

BMW’s first Superbike is coming to Christchurch on Monday, January 11th.  You can view it at Jeff Gray BMW from 1800 to 2000 and it will also be in attendance at the New Zealand Superbike Championship at Ruapuna from January 16 – 17.

Welcome to planet power poster

Double win for Justin

Posted: December 23, 2009 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff
Tags: , ,

If you attended the Biketoberfest event on Manchester Street, then you possibly entered the draw for a BMW Helmet at Jeff Gray BMW.

Well the lucky winner was Justin Ryan, but as you can see in the photo, that was not all he won as it turned out he also won ……………………………………….

Helmet Winner

a Rodney Handshake!!!!!

Firemans Calendars

Posted: November 5, 2009 by BlogMaster in Fun Stuff

Our firefighter member, Ray Pratt, is selling the Firemans Calendar.  Now this will appeal to any full blooded woman out there as it has 12 shots of semi naked Firemen (Ray not included).

You can either order online HERE or contact Ray on 371-3625 or